- The boy who takes your virginity is only going to love you long enough for you to stay in his bed.
- Your first job is never the best job. But you’ll meet some of your best friends there.
- Sometimes things don’t go the way you expect them to at all.
- People are usually never who they say they are.
- If you love someone, you need to tell them. Nobody is good at the guessing game.
- If your best friends don’t like the boy you’re involving yourself with, chances are he’s bad news.
- If a boy starts an invitation with, “Are you home alone”/”I’ll be home alone”, say no. You are a human being, not a toy to be played with.
- If some boy invites you to “the backseat of his truck”, he’s a piece of shit. Tell him to fuck himself.
- “Sorry” doesn’t always fix what you messed up.
- Stop wasting time wishing you could take back what you already did.
- You are at fault sometimes.
- There’s going to be a boy that you let get away. Yes, you loved him. It’s for the best, though.
- Toxic people hardly ever start off toxic.
- It’s always nice to make new friends, but never forget who your real friends are.
- Never lose the friends that would answer their phone at 3am if you called
- Never lose sight of who you are because of a boy.
1. We were in tune like synchronised swimmers.
Now I learn to navigate the oceans on my own.
2. I sobbed on public transport yesterday.
I wanted to call you but then remembered
I’m not allowed to.
3. The truth is: I know I’m better off
without you, but these memories
keep tricking me.
4. You make me feel like a walking cliché.
I need to stop romanticising leaving,
stop comparing your collar bones to
valleys and your freckles to constellations.
5. Can you jumpstart my heartbeat again?
I’m running so low on fuel.
6. God knows I need to delete your number.
7. Please don’t ever contact me again.
8. Perhaps we were destined to falter
from the start,
just as Venice is doomed to sink.
9. Speaking of Venice,
you should visit while there
is still time.
10. You made the words
feel just right. Now they spin
11. You had little nicknames for me.
I secretly miss being called moon shell,
tiger, fairy nymph.
12. Maybe we were just a collection
of dead ends and false starts.
We should have been disqualified
from the beginning.
13. Grief is the same in any language.
I mourn you. I collect flowers and place them
on your grave in the cemetery.
14. You are so much more than human.
15. Despite all of this, there is some
beautiful solitude in sleeping with
only my heartbeat
If they don’t reply to your texts — they’re not interested in you.
If they don’t call you — they’re not interested in you.
If they forget your birthday — they’re not interested in you.
If they’re hung up on their ex — they’re not interested in you.
If they’re obsessed with being single — they’re not interested in you.
If they don’t want to meet your friends — they’re not interested in you.
If they don’t want you to meet their friends — they’re not interested in you.
If they don’t ask questions about your life — they’re not interested in you.
If they don’t tell you things about their life — they’re not interested in you.
If they only speak to you when they want to have sex with you — they’re not interested in you.
If they only have sex with you when they’re drunk — they’re not interested in you.
If they say “should we just keep this between us?’ after you have sex with them — they’re not interested in you.
If they don’t have sex with you — they’re not interested in you.
If they can always find a psychobabble rationale about who “I am” or “you are” or “we are” as reason why you can’t be together — they’re not interested in you.
If they have said for more than six months that they would like to be with you “BUT” — they’re not interested in you.
And if you still need convincing — think of it this way. Think of what the real day-to-day of life is taken up by. Life is birthday parties at terrible pubs. Life is losing your credit card and the annual Melbourne Cup sweepstake in the office. Life is hen’s nights, bucks’ nights, sitting on the phone for three hours to get U2 tickets and not getting them, the apartment upstairs flooding your house, interval training, calorie counting, cancer scares, illegal mini cabs, Secret Santa, rail replacement buses and Dido albums. Dogs die, cars crash, bin liners break, contracts end, curtain rails collapse, trains get delayed, football teams lose. Divorce happens and so do earthquakes and so does An Audience With Michael Bublé. Landlords put rent up, phones get stolen and the supermarket often completely runs out of hummus.
Now, taking all of the above into account — you look me dead in the eye and tell me the truth. Do you really have enough spare energy to pursue someone who isn’t interested in you? Do you really want to waste any more time on top of all of that? No. Me neither. So give it up, my friend. It’s a loser’s game. Delete their number. Don’t go on any more dates with them. Stop lurking their Facebook page. Feels good, doesn’t it?